“How long until you finish the project?” She quizzes as I sip my wine, realising I’m drunk.
“ I don’t really have ends to projects “ I explain.
Perhaps it is the relentless lack of satiety I feel or maybe just a general absence of closure. It has taken me 7 years to form the relationship I have with Devorah and her family. I haven’t even scratched the surface of all of the people I want to meet and experiences I want to explore within the Jewish community. I have no idea why I started and not a clue as to when I’ll stop. I ve also discovered that I seem to be shooting the same shots over and over which is depressing.
I was aware from the beginning of the project that it would lead to an infinite and unattainable chase; a quest to learn how to portray the world I am exploring. However the experiences have kept me hooked. I decided I am simply responding to the people I meet and the conversations I have. I am interested in the tradition, the community and the daily life. In essence the people. I quickly realised there is too much to learn.
As I sit here soaking every ounce of vitamin D I can extract I think how strange it was that only a few months ago I was heaving my stupid leg cast through the snow in Stamford hill. Even if it’s only for a few hours I can’t resist poking my head out to witness the celebrations; they are infectiously energising.
Just behind the kitchen table straddling the stack of chairs and the fridge freezer, blinds open. That’s the position I find myself assuming nearly every time I visit. At first I resist it’s seduction, defiantly I adopt new positions, dance around the rooms to explore a new angle. But eventually every time I resign to that spot. The best view in the room. Here’s my attempt an alternative